I am the keeper of the flame
When others hesitate to . . .
I say your name.
I am the teller of the tale
Words spoken calmly
While inside I wail.
My tears are a stream in which memories swim
While I have breath
Your light will not dim.
For some it is hard to speak of you
For me it is hard not to.
I am the keeper of the flame
I never hesitate to say your name.
"author unknown"

Todd’s unforeseen death occurred on June 6, 2003 at the young age of 22.  A part of my very heart and soul and future died with him.  He was my son, my best friend and my family.

His sister and my daughter, Shayna, lost her brother who was also her best friend, as well as the mother she knew who was never to be the same again.  Everyone loved Todd and there are many he claimed as a best friend and many who saw him as a best friend.
That day started out as any other day. The only complaint he voiced of any discomfort was of a stomachache a couple of times that week.  I went to a convenience store the evening before his death and bought some heartburn medicine.  He voiced no complaints the day he died. He seemed a little tired but he had just got off work and worked outside on this hot, humid day and the day before.  He worked that day, Friday, and the previous day, on the flight line at Tinker Air Force Base, welcoming men and women coming home from Iraq. He had also done physical training that morning. 
We left together after his work to go to Ardmore, OK, an hour and a half drive, to get his sister, Shayna.  I was already on base at his apartment because he had locked his keys in the car at lunch time and asked me to bring the other set of keys to him.  He lightly napped on and off during the drive both ways. We arrived back in OK City and had just started east on I-240 heading to Tinker Air Force Base to get my car.  He started waking up and was motioning to put the pass to get on the base on the dashboard or let him drive.   I at first thought he was yelling at me and said "Don't yell at me".   
I sensed something was wrong. When I looked at him, his left hand that I could see looked clenched or unnatural.  I couldn't see his eyes because he had sunglasses on.  I said "Todd!" and then I saw one tear roll out of his left eye.  I knew something was horribly wrong and drove like a mad person over to a store at I-240 and Sunnylane Road - the next exit.  Shayna's friend was sitting behind Todd had reached forward to feel for his pulse but couldn't. 
I ran in the store screaming for someone to call 911. When I ran back outside, a crowd of people gathered around.  Shayna was crying.  I remember people pulling Todd out of the car.  I remember seeing Todd's head hit hard on the concrete as he was pulled out.   An employee of the store, David, heroically performed CPR on Todd. We found out later that David was retired from the same squadron as Todd's. 
Todd had just completed one year of his six year term a few days before his sudden death.  He had graduated from tech school two months before he died and was stationed at Tinker Air Force Base in Oklahoma City.  He listed Germany, Hawaii and Oklahoma City on his "wish" list.   He served his country with pride and honor.
Evidence indicates a product containing ephedra caused his death.  He had gained some weight during tech school and began taking an all-natural weight-loss supplement and multi-vitamins several months before he died.   He had quit drinking soda, was drinking lots of water, eating by the pyramid plan, working out regularly and taking three different multi-vitamins.   Results of reports indicate Todd was not taking more of the weight-loss product than recommended on the label.
We now know that these all-natural products aren't tested. 

Goodness, it has been a long time since I signed Todd's guestbook.

I had come across his webside a few years ago after the loss of

my daughter.  Her death was also attributed to ephedra but I

did not have any proof, only what I knew.

I think of Todd quite often and have wondered how his family is

doing.  I thought it was time to let them know I had not forgot

in anyway their precious Todd.  Camille, I hope all is well with

you, dear friend.  When you have a moment, email me as I would

love to hear from you.

Our life has gone on but very differently without our precious

children and I know you will certainly agree with me. 

Blessings, dear Camille

Dianna

Kanda's Mom 4ever

Kanda 4ever 30

Date:10/26/2005
Time:6:07:43 PM (CST)
Name:Bambi Colyar 
Location: Sorrento, FLorida
Referred by: Memory-of.com
Comments: God Bless you through this sad time and for your entire life as you walk thru this new way of living without your precious son. I read the excert about the Ephedra- I have taken so many diet pills and never once gave them a tought until now. I will not take anything for this fear and knowing I have a 16 year old son needing me. God bless you and I am so so very sorry for this terrible loss that should have never happened. Love Bambi 

Date:5/24/2005
Time:1:27:46 AM (CST)
Name:aman 
Location: Canada
Comments: Even though I never got to meet your wonderful son. He seems like he is a terrific son, brother, cuz, friend. God only has his plans and we never know why he decides to take the best. Remember your son will be waiting for you and watches over you every day and some day you will be with him again and right now he only wants mommy to be happy and remember him. I lost a sister approximately a year ago and also have a website made in memory of her. I invite you to come and take a look and to sign the guest book http://pages.videotron.com/aman376/index.html God Bless you and your family!!!

Date:5/4/2005
Time:4:05:07 PM (CST)
Name:jennifer lewis 
Comments: Todd was a wonderful brother and son! may GOD be with him everyday ! R.I.P. Todd James Lee! you will stay in my prays now and forever!

Date:2/19/2005
Time:7:24:42 PM (CST)
Name:Crystal 
Location: OKC
Referred by: Camille
Comments: I miss Todd and think about him everyday. He was one of my favorite cousins and we grew closer when we lived together and I now think of him as a brother. Camille I know its still hard for you and I want you to know that I am here for you whenever you need me. I LOVE YOU!

Date:12/11/2004
Time:10:20:15 PM (CST)
Name:shirley acuff 
Location: home
Comments: thankyou.merry xmas.and may god be with you

Date:12/8/2004
Time:9:35:44 PM (CST)
Name:Barri Bates
Location: Oklahoma City
Referred by: Camille
Comments: I think of him often and can'e believe it's been a year and a half. I miss him very much.I miss his smile, laughter and his willingness to do anything he could to help people. He was a very special person.

Date:12/2/2004
Time:11:26:07 AM (CST)
Name:Chuck Macchione
Location: Boston, Ma
Referred by: Langa.com
Comments: I deeply regret your loss of such a fine young American.
May God bless him and his parents.

Date:11/29/2004
Time:9:35:47 PM (CST)
Name:Paul Dellechiaie
Location: Walden, NY
Referred by: LangaList
Comments: I'm so sorry. It sounds like he was a great guy. Would I be correct in guessing that it was an ephedra based formula which killed him? I have co-workers who still seem to be getting that stuff despite the New York state and federal bans. I keep telling them the stuff was banned for a reason.

Date:11/29/2004
Time:4:22:17 PM (CST)
Name:Cheryl
Location: Sherwood, AR
Referred by: Langalist
Comments: Camille, my heart aches for you for the loss of your sweet son. I have not lost a child but have one in the Air Force at Dyess AFB in Abilene, TX. I always worry that he may be sent away and will never come back. I pray that the Lord continues to touch you and yours and know that many people love you. Thank you for sharing your wonderful website and the memory of your loving son.

Date:11/29/2004
Time:2:21:00 PM (CST)
Name:Jerry Adams
E-mail: jadams2@wi.rr.com
Location: Wisconsin
Comments: God Bless

Date:11/29/2004
Time:11:49:57 AM (CST)
Name:Craig Westlake
Location: Elyria, Ohio
Referred by: Fred Langa's newsletter
Comments: It has been my sadness in life to have known many who had lost children. Only God can truly know what you are going through..My prayers are with you and your family. It's hard, but try to remember you WILL see him again.

Date:11/29/2004
Time:6:00:59 AM (CST)
Name:Lee Willer
Location: Fostoria Ohio
Referred by: Lang List
Comments: Our pain is great. We can not answer why. We do have faith, we shall meet again, bye and bye.
God love you and comfort you.

Date:11/29/2004
Time:1:59:34 AM (CST)
Name:Bruce H. Stull
Location: Prescott, Arizona
Referred by:
Comments: Thank you, Todd - and God bless --Bruce and Pam

Date:11/29/2004
Time:12:23:19 AM (CST)
Name:Howard 
Location: Canada
Referred by: Langalist
Comments: Thank you for sharing. My prayers are with you and your family.

Date:11/28/2004
Time:9:11:17 PM (CST)
Name:John C. Wolfe ETC(SW), USN, (Ret.)
Location: Corinth, Texas
Referred by: Langalist
Comments: I can only offer my deepest sympathies for your loss. May God bless you and keep you.

Date:11/20/2004
Time:5:55:21 PM (CST)
Name:gabriel and Kelli Carson 
Location: wagoner
Referred by: newspaper
Comments: We Knew Todd in high school and were very sorry to hear about his passing he was a pretty awesome guy. he will be greatly missed

Date:11/19/2004
Time:9:13:47 PM (CST)
Name:Jackie Ellis
Location: Wagoner, Oklahoma
Referred by: Wagoner Tribune
Comments: I wanted to write this and let you know that I remember Todd very well. I was his 8th grade Communications teacher at Wagoner Middle School. I was devastated when I heard about his death. He was a very bright young man with a sweet spirit. I was glad to hear he was doing well. I have thought of him often. Bless his family.

Date:11/19/2004
Time:6:32:22 PM (CST)
Name:Barbara
Location: Maine
Referred by: Beyond Indigo
Comments: I am sorry that you had to experience the loss of a child. It is an experience I too unfortunately share with you and many other parents. You website is a great tribune to your child. Thank you for sharing a piece of his life with others.

Date:11/19/2004
Time:4:49:03 PM (CST)
Name:Misty
Location: Oklahoma city
Referred by: Camille
Comments: Todd was a really good friend, we grow up together.We miss him dearly.

Date:11/19/2004
Time:3:52:40 PM (CST)
Name:sheila
Location: Wagoner, OK 
Comments: hi...i seen the web site in the wagoner news paper i thought about viewing the site and im glad i did you should be very Proud of him...... he is and was one very fine yound man God Bless you and yor family......sheila

Date:11/18/2004
Time:9:41:26 PM (CST)
Name:Ricky Hubbard
Location: Wagoner
Referred by: Wagoner Tribune
Comments: I went to school with Todd and, though I wasn't really someone that spoke with him every day, I knew of him and had conversations with him in school. I'm sorry to hear that this happend and trust that he is in a better place. After hearing this, I will be stopping my use of ANY of these products. Todd seemed to be a cool cat, he will be missed.

Date:11/18/2004
Time:6:06:30 PM (CST)
Name:Justin Pease
Location: Wagoner Oklahoma
Referred by: Newspaper
Comments: I really dont have the words.. I didnt even know that he passed away. I am so so sorry for your loss.. I only talked to Todd a few times in school, but you could always tell he had a glow from him. Best wishes to his family, they did a great job on raising their son, Take care and God Bless

Date:11/18/2004
Time:2:39:13 PM (CST)
Name:Betty 
Location: Coweta
Comments: I am so touched by your website for Todd. You were so blessed to have had such a special son
God Bless you and your family..Betty

Date:11/13/2004
Time:10:35:22 PM (CST)
Name:Elizabeth Gern
Location: Santee, CA
Referred by: beyondindigo
Comments: Dear lostclee,
What a wonderful website for your beloved son.
Love, Beth

Date:11/11/2004
Time:8:11:31 AM (CST)
Name:Judi Walker
Location: Louisiana
Referred by: National Children's Memorial Day page
Comments: I am so sorry for the loss of your son Todd, he is a handsome young man. It is so wrong when we are lead to believe "all natural" means "safe." Hopefully someday these manufacturers will care more about the lives they are causing us to lose than making money. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Some day, we will be with our sons again, until then, we will hold them in our hearts.

Date:10/18/2004
Time:8:41:35 AM (CST)
Name:Jerry Adams
Location: Wagoner, Oklahoma
Comments: I was Todd's high school principal. Todd was a fine young man who finally found what he truly wanted to do in life. We will remember him as courteous, kind, and thoughtful. We will truly miss him.

Date:10/17/2004
Time:10:39:02 AM (CST)
Name:Mary LeBeau 
Location: Edmond Oklahoma 
Comments: He was a beautiful young man!

Date:10/10/2004
Time:9:40:58 PM (CST)
Name:Dee
Location: Norfolk uk
Referred by: http://www.geocities.com/childbereavment/
Comments: I am so sorry that you had to loose your wonderfull son. My heart goes to you. [[[[hugs]]]]
I did recieve your email and will ad you to the above web site.
Dee

Date:10/7/2004
Time:11:35:59 AM (CST)
Name:Deidre Love Graham
Location: Oklahoma City
Referred by: Kristie Runion
Comments: Seeing his picture with his smile makes it so contagious. I cant help but smile the minute I see a pic. He is missed. Very much so. Bless everyone feeling the void of his presence.

Date:10/3/2004
Time:8:17:25 AM (CST)
Name:Wanda Estes
Location: Texas
Comments: Thank you for sharing the information about your son, Todd. God bless you as you continue to reach out to try to help others.

Date:9/19/2004
Time:2:17:11 PM (CST)
Name:CAT
Location: Okc
Referred by: Shayna & TJ's Mom, My friend & cohort, Camille Lee
Comments: Once again,I have to say, you are doing an excellent job on this website.
Let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you, Shayna or the rest the family.You know I love you like my own!

Date:7/17/2004
Time:10:29:51 PM (CST)
Name:Crystal
Location: okc
Referred by: Camille
Comments: You did a great job on this website. Love crystal

Date:7/10/2004
Time:10:33:58 PM (CST)
Name:misty
Location: oklahoma city 
Comments: the website is very sad.Todd is afriend of our family.we miss you and love you.

Date:6/22/2004
Time:5:31:32 AM (CST)
Name:Caro Ness
Location: England
Referred by: Genesse Gentry
Comments: I think this is a beautiful memorial to your son. His short life shines brightly in the pictures on this site.
Blessings. Caro

Date:6/3/2004
Time:9:38:39 PM (CST)
Name:Jennifer Lewis 
Comments: Camile i hope you are doing good i havent seen or talk to you in forever me and Shayna i guess kinda drifted apart and have lost close touch! :( well Todd is in my heart and prays! stay safe and strong!

Date:5/22/2004
Time:8:46:53 AM (CST)
Location: Childloss, Grief & Healing Board
Comments: Camille: I am so sorry for the loss of your handsome son, Todd. I think your memorial site is a wonderful tribute to Todd.
Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom

Date:5/22/2004
Time:12:41:53 AM (CST)
Name:merry milne 
Location: maine
Referred by: child loss board
Comments: camille you did a real good job on the site. i enjoyed it

Date:5/17/2004
Time:9:58:27 AM (CST)
Name:Darlene~Caitlin's mom
Location: Ontario
Referred by: Child loss board
Comments: Camille - I'm so sorry for your loss of your beautiful son, Todd.
I used to take a product with Ephedra a few years ago but stopped when I heard of the deaths from it.
I hope your web page for Todd helps other people to realize the dangers.
Darlene

Date:5/13/2004
Time:8:41:18 AM (CST)
Name:Susan Armenio
Location: New York
Referred by: Child Loss Grief & Healing Board
Comments: I wanted to tell you how handsome your son is, and how very sorry I am he passed. My deepest sympathies.
Big hugs, Susan

Date:5/13/2004
Time:1:19:57 AM (CST)
Name:Terry
Location: Florida
Referred by: GAH
Comments: Our children going home is a temporary seperation. And yes, the Chain will link again. As we reach out to take hold of Our Father's loving Hands. Your son is beautiful. Loving eyes, a tender face. My prayers are with you to find comfort and to feel His Peace! My Love....Terry

Date:5/4/2004
Time:11:33:47 AM (CST)
Name:Zolka Moreno
Location: Coyhaique, Chile
Referred by: Michael Nordwood 

Date:4/22/2004
Time:7:13:54 AM (CST)
Name:James Barry
Location: Tinker AFB, OK (32 CCS/CYNW) 

Date:4/21/2004
Time:7:34:18 AM (CST)
Name:TSgt Terry Lindsey
Location: Tinker AFB Oklahoma
Comments: I knew him for only a few weeks. I was always impressed by his atitude and conviction.

Date:4/20/2004
Time:8:12:11 AM (CST)
Name:Sherry Bynum 

Date:4/19/2004
Time:11:14:16 AM (CST)
Name:carolyn Manning 
Comments: Camille I am Cindy's Mom

Date:3/24/2004
Time:8:14:44 AM (CST)
Name:fcl 
Location: Oregon
Comments: Thank you for placing this on the website. I just received a call from my 18 year old daughter - some of her friends have been buying ephedra and she was asking me about the product. I only hope she hasn't been using it. I am forwarding this site to her. You and your son's story will make more of an impact than anything I could possibly say. Thank you.

Date:3/17/2004
Time:7:52:36 AM (CST)
Name:James Stewart
Location: Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Referred by: google
Comments: I was asked by one of my employees, a 24 year old, if I knew anything about ephedrine. I found your website among the other hits that I found. Thank you for sharing your pain. It has poignantly brought home the dangers of this drug in a way that clinical reports can not.
I have printed and shared your story with my employee and am sure that he now more clearly understands the dangers and will stay clear of this dangerous drug. Once again, thank you for sharing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Date:2/11/2004
Time:5:17:11 PM (CST)
Name:Ashley Hall
Location: Rowlett, Tx
Referred by: Shayna
Comments: I wasn't blessed enough to get to meet Todd, however I have been blessed enough to get a chance to be best friends with his younger sister Shayna. From what I have heard about Todd, he was a wonderful guy. I just wanted to remind Shayna and Camille that they have not lost someone they loved, but they have gained an Angel. I am here for you guys anytime you need me; y'all will be in my prayers! I love you both very much, and hope to get to spend a lot more time with both of you!

Date:2/5/2004
Time:7:45:07 AM (CST)
Name:SSgt Thomas "Hollywood" Rogers
Location: San Antonio Texas
Referred by: Aiman Boos
Comments: Airman Lee was a model of one of the reasons why I came down to Lackland to be a Military Training Instructor. Pride, drive, confidance and he wanted to be in the Air Force. He will be missed but not forgotten. I am sure he is making God laugh just like he use to make the flight laugh when I was not around. My heart and prayers to his family.

Date:2/4/2004
Time:2:04:08 AM (CST)
Name:Teresa Molet
Location: Oklahoma City 
Comments: This is such a beautiful website! I am so proud of you Camille for everything you have done in his honor. Todd was an exceptional young man with so much to offer this world and he will always be greatly missed by all. However, I think he was more special than we ever knew and that is why God felt that he needed him in heaven. Camille, you have every right to be proud of him for he was truly a blessing from above. May you find peace in this!

Date:2/3/2004
Time:7:41:49 AM (CST)
Name:SSgt Russell Thetford
Location: Tinker AFB
Comments: I never got to meet Todd, however we both served in the "Herd" together which makes him family. God bless you and your family.
SSgt Russell Thetford

Date:1/29/2004
Time:2:14:00 PM (CST)
Name:ryan ellis
Location: hampton va
Referred by: chris farkas
Comments: this is ryan ellis....i went to tech school with todd when we were in san antonio together, we had some good times and i will always remember him. Regards to all his family and friends.

Date:1/29/2004
Time:12:37:29 PM (CST)
Name:Lt Col Jerardo Perez
Location: Lackland AFB
Referred by: SSgt Rogers
Comments: Hello, I was your son's commander at Basic Training. Please accept our condolences on your loss.

Date:1/29/2004
Time:10:49:31 AM (CST)
Name:Chris Farkas
Location: Eglin AFB
Referred by: Camille Lee
Comments: Todd was an amazing person that everyone enjoyed the company of. He will be dearly missed.

Date:1/29/2004
Time:3:45:31 AM (CST)
Name:Matthew Southard
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Referred by: James Boos
Comments: I went to tech school with Todd and had some very good times hanging out with him in the dorms. He was a great friend to everyone and will be miss greatly.

Date:1/28/2004
Time:3:52:04 PM (CST)
Name:James Boos
Location: Panama City Florida
Referred by: Christopher Farkas
Comments: I was in Basic Training and Tech School with Todd. He was a really good friend, and he will be missed.

Date:1/27/2004
Time:9:53:16 AM (CST)
Name:Sharon Barker
Location: Oklahoma City 
Comments: You did a wonderful job on the website. Keep in touch.

Date:1/24/2004
Time:9:39:36 PM (CST)
Name:Glenda
Location: OKC
Comments: Camille, I love you so much! The webpage is beautiful. I hope you are doing well, please call soon. Todd is very missed each and everyday. I love you!!!!  

Date:1/23/2004
Time:8:29:09 AM (CST)
Name:connie huelsman
Location: 31 ccs/cc Bldg 7005
Referred by: Received email from First Sergeant
Comments: Mrs. Lee
God Bless you and your Family

Date:1/22/2004
Time:5:43:32 PM (CST)
Name:Kevin Winters 
Location: Tinker 
Comments: Our prayers and concerns are with you and your family.
KEVIN T. WINTERS, MSgt, USAF
First Sergeant, 31st Combat Comm Sq.

Date:1/20/2004
Time:9:14:05 PM (CST)
Name:Tricia Keitel
Location: Muskogee,Oklahoma
Referred by: Rhonda Bolding
Comments: Todd seem like a bright and handsome young man.With his head and heart going in the right direction. He will be missed by many.

Date:1/20/2004
Time:7:45:46 AM (CST)
Name:Deedy Starr
Location: Oklahoma City
Referred by: Tawana Lyle
Comments: Camille, Please keep my email. I plan to leave WS soon, so keep in touch! I am so glad you did this! I can't believe it's been that long. Seems like yesterday. I know it does to you, too.  Todd always reminded me of my own (23 yrs.) son. He was quiet and polite. Everyone loved him, as you know. I have many fond memories of Todd and will keep you and him in my heart for always. My prayers and thoughts are with you. I haven't forgotten, even if you don't know it. I still think of both of you often.

Date:1/19/2004
Time:4:30:06 PM (CST)
Name:David Neuman
Location: Tinker AFB, OK
Referred by: Todd's Mom
Comments: He'll always be in our hearts.

Date:1/18/2004
Time:8:12:27 AM (CST)
Name:La Tanya Wilson
Referred by: Tawana Lyle

Date:1/15/2004
Time:4:12:19 PM (CST)
Name:Tracy and Phillip 
Location: Broken Arrow, Oklahoma 
Comments: Camille, I love what you have done with this website. I pray that it will help stop someone else who is taking Stackers. Todd was a gorgeous human being, it is such a shame to have lost him. I wish we had gotten to spend more time with him in his life. Sincerely, Tracy and Phillip Fields and Family

Date:1/14/2004
Time:8:29:00 AM (CST)
Name:Ron Perez-Guerra
Location: TAFB
Referred by: co worker
Comments: Nicely done. the word is being spread. and to let you know he is missed.Ron

Date:1/13/2004
Time:10:06:31 AM (CST)
Name:Kathi Bates
Location: Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Referred by: Barri Bates 

Date:1/13/2004
Time:6:33:54 AM (CST)
Name:cat
Comments: Yes, Todd was a great young man. Polite, loving,& caring. Liked by all who met him and loved by all who knew him. Thoughtful, kind & gentle, taking exceptional measures to ensure his Mom and sister, he loved so dearly, and the rest of his family, be taken care of and not extraordinarily burdoned by his passing. He is and will be much missed.
Todd, Happy Trails To You,
Until We Meet Again!
Cindy
(Great job on this website Camille)

Date:1/12/2004
Time:10:21:37 PM (CST)
Name:Barri Bates
Location: Oklahoma City
Referred by: Camille
Comments: I loved Todd. He was one of my "kids" from work. He was always there to help whenever I called. It didn't matter what we were doing he would always pitch in. He loved eating my k-bobs that I fixed on the grill. I think he just loved to eat!!! I miss him and I love him.

Date:1/12/2004
Time:9:24:46 PM (CST)
Name:Helen Martin
Location: Stillwater
Referred by: Camille
Comments: This is a touching tribute to a loving son and brother.

Date:1/12/2004
Time:3:29:59 PM (CST)
Name:Heather Murray
Location: Tahlequah
Referred by: Camille
Comments: I like your web page.

Date:1/9/2004
Time:4:34:19 PM (CST)
Name:shirley acuff
Location: okla city
Comments: your webpage looks great. my love is with you . franks sister